im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Holy sore nipples Batman
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
