first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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