if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
