i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize