You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
