i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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