So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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