I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
