Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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