I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
