thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
