hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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