eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize