i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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