Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
