somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i already hear my dad disowning me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
