Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
