in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
