Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
