If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
