I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm passing your future prison.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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