when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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