Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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