Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
