I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
this is an emotional support booty call
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
