Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
