Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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