Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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