What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
