She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
