Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
