I can text with my tongue
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
