remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
