We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
