I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
