I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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