Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
