Everything about him screamed your future.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
