I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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