Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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