i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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