ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
