and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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