4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
