i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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