If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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