Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have demons in me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
