Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize