what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
