She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
