I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
