UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize