There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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