I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize