So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
