3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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