it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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