Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pants are for mortals
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
