I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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