i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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