Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i think i just lost a toe
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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