I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize