I am puke
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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