He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
