ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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