The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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