I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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