guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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