Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize