I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
