Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
