I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
