I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
