Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize